Raspberries Review
Introduction
Raspberries are a fruit that we have the luxury of purchasing and consumption as a homosapien. But do they deserve the 10/10 rating? Or are they just as deceptive as ceilings? Without further ado, let’s get into it.
The Review
Raspberries get off to a great start with their packaging. Being sold in significantly greater numbers than other fruits like apples or oranges, which are only sold in packs on five or six. This is unlike mighty raspberries, which are sold in their twenties or above. “Strength in numbers” is a phrase often used in war. The same goes for raspberries.
Raspberries also taste awesome. And I mean, absolutely divine. The most addictive fruit ever. Good thing they are extremely healthy too! And if you say “But Sachin, I don’t like raspberries” you can get Shrekt. Your time is ogre.
Dogs. People like dogs. Dogs are fluffy. Many people love dogs because of their fluffiness. You know what else feels fluffy? RASPBERRIES. Despite not tasting like it, raspberries have an alluring softness to them. So even if you don’t like eating them, they can still be petted like they are a really small dog or something. I don’t know, I don’t do it. I have dogs. Raspberries won’t love you back, but if you have a pet allergy, raspberries can be a very suitable alternative.
However there is a drawback to raspberries that reveals their true intentions. Behind the mask of being a viable dog replacement, raspberries have a potential dealbreaker.
1 in 5 raspberries are more sour than my last relationship. That’s what I’d say if I had been in a relationship. Seriously, though, they are the phantom menace, springing at you like Freddy Fazbear. You don’t know when, but it’ll happen. The sour raspberry will hit you harder than a punch to the gut.
There exists no mortal on Earth who does not fear the sour raspberry. With this in mind, it can absolutely destroy anyone’s raspberry consumption experience.
I personally believe that sour raspberries were purposely created to help the sales of the upcoming sequel, Raspberries 2. But until its release, we can only live in complete and utter terror.
Therefore I rate raspberries an I-prefer-strawberries-anyway/10
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9 Comments
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Very good review, perfectly encompassed my feelings on the raspberry, 10/10
Complete waste of time and effort. Shit.1/10
keep your nasty opinions to goddamn yourself mate. sachin4life
i prefer raspberries. perfect review, enjoyed 10/10 would read again
This is an excellent review 🙂 Keep up the good work!!!!
FUCK RASPBERRIES
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Awesomeeee!!! Keep up the good work and keep being funky
This furry fruit has gone ignored my me for too long if this review is telling the truth.
First I’m checking number of raspberries in the carton then I’m pushing a finger straight through a ventilation hole into one of them.